In my early 20’s, at a time when I practically lived in and out of different theatre characters, I struggled with the thought of not being real and not having one true nature.  I used to find myself in every character I interpreted and for that time adopted certain traits, behaved in a certain way and thought differently. One question I asked myself over and over again was the stellar one ‘But who am I really?’

I was 25 years old, on a 3 month acting tour from Europe to Russia and on the final leg to India, when on an unplanned trip to Sri Aurobindo’s Ashram in Pondicherry South India, I stumbled upon his books with one in particular staring me in the face; Our Many Selves!!  Needless to say I bought it, along with most of the others, and returned back to Malta eager to delve into this book.

In essence, it speaks of the deeper understanding of the true nature of our psychological being, which is composed of many different ‘selves’ that interact with one another, with behaviours and actions impinging upon one another.  Reading these chapters allowed me to understand why I could be so multifaceted in my behaviour, emotions and mental thoughts. I stopped feeling false and embraced the true nature of my complex being. I found the truth in all the acting parts I interpreted which in return made me discover the truths within me.  It is perhaps why I value the years of acting training I had. They not only gave me the discipline but also the ability to discover, question, find myself, loose it and rediscover it over and over again.

In conclusion…

Reading has given me the exposure to emotional, psychological and spiritual possibilities of oneself.  Some may have been in my nature and others I adopted to make my own life situations/experience and that with others, better.

Acting has given me the practice of these layers of being within me.

Living them has given me the facility to move swiftly between my daily roles and yet feel authentic and true in each.   I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an actress, a pilot, a public person, a yogi, a traveller and so much more.

As long as I am aware and in touch with myself at that particular moment in time, then I am true.

Same goes to the awareness of our emotions, thoughts and actions.  If we are in touch with them, then we will always act to the best of our knowledge.

I heard a spiritual leader once tell a mother correcting her child “Showing anger itself is not wrong, but being unaware of your anger is”.

If only we can invest some time to get to know ourselves better, be it through acting, sports, studying or simply living with awareness.  I believe it will bring more kindness, happiness and security within all of us.